"Baby Steps"

Last night I was planning on going to Milwaukee to see Jon Troast: It started at 7pm I didn't leave until 8:30, and so all the while I was debating "oh well it's too late now blah blah blah, the show will be over" I also wasn't feeling "good/comfy" in my clothes. So I finally got comfy.....and got out the door and down to the gas station I went. Another reason (excuse) I made for myself "I don't have any gas and by the time I get it, the show will be over" HAHAHA how silly of me.

Whatever, so I'm now in Milwaukee on Water St. looking for the "Milwaukee Ale Brewery" um....I found it, now I had to turn around several time to find a parking spot. So I'm parked and now the thought "oh well can you even park here?" pops into my head......I tell it "I really don't know, but we'll find out."
I cross the street and walk into this place, It's really big and wide open. A few people scattered about, looking very "snooty" and I really wasn't liking the feel of it. I didn't see Jon, so I was going to turn around and walk out. But "NO" I saw that there was more to the place....another whole room to venture into. "Oh great, now I have to walk around past people?" "AAAAHHHHH!" I did it. I made myself do it, and I saw no one.......that i knew. ( DUH!) So I turned around and thought I knew the person behind the bar, so I approached the bar stool non-shalauntly yet VERY cautiously. Right as I'm about to sit, I realize it's not him, and I FREAK OUT *inside* I tell myself "it's okay, you don't know him, Jon is gone,you should just sit here and drink a beer!..........I didn't win that battle.
As I "oh so slyly" passed the chair I was to be sitting in....I darted for the door. Some nice upper-class older looking man had come in and was holding the door open for me. I thanked him, and at the same time wondered why he would do such a nice gesture....for you see I really wasn't dressed to the ninths. As I walked to my car that was maybe half way down the block, and a man was approaching....a thought crossed my mind:
"Why is it that you can walk by yourself in MILWAUKEE at 10:30pm and not be afraid of being kidnapped or mugged? I mean yeah, I wasn't in a completely "bad part" of town, but still what makes this so different than LG?? I thought about it and came to the conclusion that......I guess I just have to walk around LG at night more. I mean I used to all the time, and then one day I just stopped. I got really scared and just didn't feel safe anymore. Hmmm? I'm not sure why.

After I got to my car I drove and parked to visit my brother's ex-girlfriend (I like that they still are friends, and don't hate each other.) I don't like the uncomfortable feeling you get when you're not sure if you can still be friends with or even talk to someone, even though they no longer date or hang out with the person they knew. You know what I mean? So anyway I went to her apartment and talked to her for a bit, told her about my adventure, then left right after Jay Leno came on and told a really stupid joke. He needs to get some new material.

Anyway all in all, I did good. KUDOS to me! All I need is "Baby Steps" I had more to this smidge bit of an ending, but it mysteriously got erased?! Upsetting but true. Tears :(