"Down The Rabbit Hole"

So..........I went to an art faire last Sunday, and the owner of the shope "Down The Rabbit Hole" (love the name!) anyway she said she would love for me to make my paintings into cards, and she would sell them for me. hehehehehe how fucking exciting!!!! Um yeah :P So today I just finished making them, they look awesome and I love them so. I can't believe I thought making cards would be so difficult, um so not......at all! So I'm really excited and can't believe things are happening yippie!!!! Okay that's all. hahahahhahahahahaha

Unwritten Law - Save Me

Fucker

I hate certain asshole people. Well HATE is a VERY strong word and I NEVER usually use it. Thus I will explain......certain assholes are bastards who need not control other people's minds and decision making. Controlling, manipulative bastards should be locked up and spit at (well at least that's how I'm feeling today about this certain someone.) My friend's asshole boyfriend or month old dating friend is whom I'm talking about. He doesn't let her hang out or do anything with me or anyone else. and when she is, he gets overly jealous,doesn't believe her and assumes the worst. He's very insecure and doesn't enjoy the fact that my friend does indeed like to hang out with other people other than him. Yet I have lost the battle and now I'm letting them live happily ever after the end! A week ago she was in tears and was determined to move all the way out to CA just to get the fuck away from this asshole. Yet now, she just LOVES him! Barf in a bucket :) So yeah, anyway I'm so fucking done with the both of them it's not even funny. I don't enjoy being stepped on over and over just to make the other person have control over the situation. If I were her, I'd tell him to shove it and go fuck himself in a corner......I'm not her though, and she won't do such a thing. So whatever! Fuck 'em both. I'm so done with people that can't go out and about without their "other half" It makes me sick that they can't seem to survive without each other but whatever! Karma's a BITCH and what will happen will happen. What comes around goes around. That's my story and I'm stickn' to it!!!!!

~Me

Coffee Shop shoppn'

Two paintings! That's how many I was able to sell in one month. Kudos to me!!! I made 2 people happy.

Good conqures Evil or A trip in through and around Alice's mind

I always find, that these things that are oh so exciting and fun(the Renn. Faire both last year and this)....tend to be shared by me,myself and I. For I could find no one to go with. Oh well........It was so much fun though. I've come to the conclusion that i'm just supposed to do these things all by my lonesome. For in the end they end up being so much more fun than I had thought them up to be.
Tori Concert: I had the entire row to myself and was just so happy! Each song she sang seemed to help me understand what I had just gone through that past week.
Sometimes, more than none....and more often times do I think this way now (which is always so much more fun) UM.........oh yeah, i've become more happy doing things by myself. No need to worry about what anyone else wants to do or where they have to be and when. Time Is always so much crazier it seems (to me) when you have that insane voice in your head saying bullshit like...."oh no wait don't do this don't do that, what are they going to think, are they going to be okay with this, are THEY having fun?" Just makes me want to SCREAM!!!! "aaaaahhhhh"
Thank god (or whoever you want to believe) I don't listen to that part of my mind as much as I used to.

Speaking of god......I've come to the conclusion that god is me. hahahha no no not JUST me. It's everyone. We are our own GOD. I mean if you break it down....Um oh shit now I have to think of how to get my thoughts in order. Okay here I go: So my mind works in a way more abstract and nonensical way when compared to most anyone else........I suppose. Alright so why do people believe in Jesus,or Buddah, or you know any religion at all? I don't know, everyone has their own reason but my point is, that they do so (for the most point) because they agree and like their point of view and thinking and it makes them feel good about themselves and happy at the end of the day (well unless you conform to something just because everyone else is doing it....then that's just a lost soul and totally differnt blog). Anyway it comes down to anything..... even the people you are friends with: you're friends with them because they make you feel good about yourself and they help you feel happy when you're down and out. True friends (not the ones you hang out with just because they're the "in crowd" that goes back to the conforming for no good reason.....blog)

True friends: take you for who you are the good, bad,ugly etc. and love you unconditionally with out any judgments and are there for you willet or nillet (another one of my made up words) you are friends with them because you believe in them and vice versa. Thus we are all in one way or another............a religion people follow (kind of but not really at all.........just go with it.) So:



I suppose in other words:
GOD=LOVE
&
LOVE=GOD

And THAT is why god is in us all.....for we ALL have LOVE, we just need others to share it with. That crazy feeling of (unconditional love no strings attached) is just our soul telling us we are where we are meant to be and not to worry. The people who are in our lives are there for a reason and the ones that aren't anymore..........are on a different path to help teach others. For we all don't make the same mistakes at the same time, we are all here to help others and learn and grow from our past. Yep that it.

For it really just comes down to the fact that WE are the only person who can make us feel good in the end. It's just all up to yourself. Nobody else can tell you how to feel or why you feel that way. It just is. Ya know?? Yeah there are people and situations that can make you feel shitty but YOU are the only one who is in COMPLETE control of your thoughts and feelings. So it is YOU who makes you FEEL good,bad, or ugly. Although in the end we ar all just one.

Or something like that. It totally makes sense to me in my mind. Some how it comes down to to the fact that we are all our own god.

Yep. So there haha.
Anyway yeah, the concert was fun .


I LOVE my stories!!!

Here are just a few of my photographs and paintings that are in coffee shop:

Sold my first painting EVER!

Okay, so yeah it took forever...........but it's done and over with. One more thing I can cross off my list of things to be afraid of. For I did it and it's over with!!! Someone I don't even know bought one of my paintings the other day how excited was I to find the lady of the coffee shop hand me a check when I walked in to see how things were going!!! That was such a cool feeling I couldn't even believe it. I still really can't. I mean, MY painting in someone's house that's awesome!!!! That's just too crazy man I love it :)

I am back............just to say hi. So..........."hi."

Other than that, I really don't have much to say right now. SORRY.


~ME



Okay, so to tell you the truth I have about 8million things to say and to write but at the moment I have no time. (even though time is a man made thing)

I just really wish I could get all of my thoughts out of my head and down on paper etc. So alright, here I go:


AAARRRGGGGGG!!!!! Where to start? "Well Alice, it's always good to start at the begining and stop at the end."

Well, okay sure we'll try that one.

My paintings:

All I wanted was to get them out into the world some how.
Well that happened and NOW i'm afraid to finish what I started and it's driving me up a damn wall.

The owner of the store even told me she would do it just as a favor, and wouldn't even take a percentage out of the price. That's the NICEST thing I could have asked for.

So now all I have to do is matt them. Not too much to ask for, sounds easy enough. Yet I always seem to get to this point and STOP.
It must be fear. It always seems to get in the way. Fear of WHAT though??
-Actually finishing what I started.
- Attention
I think I think too much, but also I think it's just scary. New things are ALWAYS scary and I know I have to get used to it, but it's so hard to do when you don't feel like you have anyone holding your hand through the whole thing.


I know I don't NEED anyone to hold my hand, and there all ready are so many people that are happy for me and are cheering me on, yet I just don't seem to see or hear them. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It's so fucking frustraiting.

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS.......then WHY don't I just GO FOR IT????

Anyone??:

Bike

Marley

Okay okay.......a new pic of MARLEY THE MOOSE: